


Tired Motherfucker (x3) Therapy

by Duskmoon



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Enderman/Ghast Hybrid Ranboo, Fluff, Group Therapy, Hybrids, Light Angst, Multiple Pronouns for Eret (Video Blogging RPF), Piglin Hybrid Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Sleepovers, Tea, Wither Hybrid Eret, i guess this counts as hurt/comfort, i just really like tea, i put an unnecessary amount of effort into the tea segment, might make this a series of eret being a therapist, no beta we die like men, self-indulgent because i need more eret centric things, they all need therapy holy shit, they have a vent session together. that’s it that’s the fic, you go you funky little wither hybrid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-01-02
Packaged: 2021-03-12 11:27:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28509654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Duskmoon/pseuds/Duskmoon
Summary: As hostile mob hybrids, Eret, Ranboo, and Technoblade have their fair share of problems to vent about. They have regular meetings to talk out their feelings, but this one ends a little differently.
Relationships: Eret & Ranboo (Video Blogging RPF), Eret & Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), No Romantic Relationship(s), Ranboo & Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), all platonic my friend
Comments: 27
Kudos: 751
Collections: Purrsonal Picks





	Tired Motherfucker (x3) Therapy

**Author's Note:**

> oh god im so tired but HERE!!! big thank you to flowchi/elmflowers for keeping me motivated to finally write and finish something, i feel so accomplished haha
> 
> this might not be the best but flowchi and i are just so starved for eret content, i hope you enjoy this even though i’m still not super confident in my writing lolol
> 
> might change the title later but this is what it was called in my drafts and i cant think of anything better dhdjdhdksk

“Alright, everyone take a seat now!” 

Eret clapped his hands and gestured to the three seats in a more secluded room of their castle. Unlike the rest of the cold stone walls decorated with the occasional banner throughout the rest of the castle, this room was built to be more comforting. Warm lanterns lit the room, which had soft spruce walls and red carpeted floors. Flowers and other various plants in pots decorated the countertops.

Ranboo and Techno each picked a random seat, as they were really all the same. Eret shut the door and took the remaining chair, slumping into it with a sigh. She plucked the dark shades off of her face and tossed them onto a nearby countertop, then with a grimace, peeled the elbow-length gloves off of his arms to reveal the black and withered skin underneath.

Ranboo and Techno both did something similar, taking off their overcoats and crowns to get settled in a little more. The enderman and ghast hybrid followed Eret’s example and took off his own gloves, flexing his stiff fingers afterwards. 

Techno pulled his hair up into a loose bun to keep it out of his face, before loosening the straps on his boots a little bit for comfort. Once everyone had gotten settled, Eret began to speak again.

“And welcome back to our monthly hostile mob therapy session! I really feel like we should make this more frequent.” They chuckled, rubbing nervously at a patch of wither on their forearm. 

“That sounds great! I love chatting with you guys!” Ranboo chirped earnestly, grinning happily.

“With the wars n’stuff goin’ on though, I’m not so sure.” Techno sighed. “It was hard enough to get away just for this one.” The other two nodded in agreement.

“Well either way, we can figure that out later. For now, who wants to go first? And as always, don’t feel obligated to share anything that makes you uncomfortable, and what gets said in this room stays in this room unless someone asks otherwise.” The king shifted to pull one of his cats into his lap, holding her gently and stroking her soft fur. Ranboo ended up with their other, identical black cat, who he began to pet idly.

“I mean, I wouldn’t mind going first!” Ranboo stated, still petting the cat in his lap. “If that’s okay. I mean, I don’t want to be a bother! If someone else wants to go first, you can! I just thought I’d offer becau—“

“It’s alright Ranboo, we’ve been over this,” Eret soothed, cutting him off before he could ramble. “You’re alright to go first, and I’m proud of you for speaking up!” She smiled kindly.

Said young hybrid sputtered a little, unsure of how to accept the other’s compliment. Techno chuckled a little as he simply settled for a low Enderman warble and an awkward hand wave as a gesture of appreciation, before beginning to speak. 

“Well, it’s honestly nothing new. I’m always really annoyed at my aversion to water. Especially when it rains, because if I’m somewhere by myself without a helmet, I just get stuck! I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve had to call for help. It’s so embarrassing.” He groaned, running a hand down the dark Enderman side of his face. “And don’t even get me started on eye contact. I’m considering just wearing glasses like you do, Eret. Maybe that’d lessen the gut-wrenching feeling of wanting to just go absolutely feral whenever someone so much as looks me in the eye.” He sighed.

“Mood, kind of.” Techno added on. “I get the whole ‘wanting to go feral’ instincts thing. Wanting to maim someone because they aren’t wearing any gold is frustrating. And speaking of, it’d sure as hell’d be nice if I didn’t drool over everything gold and shiny near me. Plus, of course, the Voices. They’re annoying.” The Piglin hybrid scoffed a little. “I swear I have a migraine constantly nowadays.”

Eret winced. “I can totally understand that. Some days its so bright I swear its like my head is splitting in two. The sunglasses are mainly to hide my eyes, but as I’m sure you know Techno, Withers aren’t exactly built to be ‘light creatures.’ And on a different note, I really hate the withering effect I can use sometimes.” He sighed. “Got too worked up and ruined a perfectly good skirt the other day. Crumpled to ash in moments. It was expensive too...” They drew their lips into a playful pout as the others laughed along with her. 

Eret stretched out his arm to show the inky patterns trailing up towards his shoulder, flexing their clawed hand. “Plus, wearing gloves all the time to hide this stuff gets so annoying. Especially in the summer!”

Ranboo nodded vigorously, showing off his own dual-coloured, clawed hands. “I totally get that! Mine don’t have to be as long as yours, but it’s still super awful feeling. Like.. I’m touching something but it doesn’t feel like it! I know I am but there’s fabric in the way so am I really? It messes with my head so bad.”

They all laughed with one another, feeling lighthearted and much better. Eret passed the cat in her lap to Techno, then Ranboo did the same, leaving a very confused and awkward Techno with two bundles of inky black fur in his lap. The other two began to giggle again at the look on his face. 

“...Why have you forsaken me?” He whispered, sounding strained. Eret could no longer hold back his stifled laughter, finally bursting out into a joyous guffaw. Ranboo soon followed suit, until they were both doubled over and clutching at their sides.

Techno sighed with relief as both cats leapt off of him, but began to chuckle as well when he saw how hard his friends were laughing. For once, the voices were silent, and he let a relaxed smile take the place of his usual stoic expression. 

Eret stood up while Ranboo and Techno started up some idle conversation about non-stressful things, like the long and well over-exaggerated tale of Ranboo’s pets and his struggle to keep at least one of them alive.

The Wither hybrid grabbed the tea kettle off of the stove, filling it with water and setting it onto a burner to boil. “Would either of you like some tea?” They called softly, not looking over their shoulder as they grabbed some reusable tea bags and the little bottle that contained a wonderful smelling blend of chamomile and lavender. 

“I would!” Ranboo replied. Techno shrugged and fiddled with one of the rings on his fingers. “Techno doesn’t care but I don’t think he would mind having some too.” 

Eret nodded and poured an equal amount of herbs into each bag, cinching them up tightly and re-corking the fancy glass bottle. He then pulled three mugs from a different cabinet, pouring the boiling water into each and then setting the kettle on one of the un-lit back burners. He carefully dipped each tea bag into their respective cups, before sitting back down to let them steep.

She slumped back into her chair, nearly melting into it with a groan. Techno looked at her and just chuckled.

“Mood.”

“Same. You okay though?” The dual hybrid asked, a note of concern replacing the playful lilt his voice had held earlier. 

“Yeah. Just tired. Kingdom shit is exhausting. Dream likes to come mock me and tell me all I do is ‘Sit and look pretty,’ when I do all the paperwork and technical stuff around here. I have so many things on on my daily schedule that it’s not even funny.” She sighed deeply. “Being discredited for all the hard work you do really hurts.”

Techno winced, and looked down a little. “I know how you feel on that subject. Well, not exactly, but the whole ‘hard work being discredited’ thing. I guess when the whole thing you’re known for is being a bloodthirsty, violent monster, it tends to override all the other things you’ve done.” He clasped his scarred hands together tightly. “And since that’s the only thing I’m known for, I get used over and over again. A tool to bring in at a time of peril, to be cast aside as soon as the coast is clear. I don’t want to be used as a weapon anymore.”

The crack in his voice toward the end broke the other two’s hearts. Techno hadn’t looked up yet, as if afraid to meet their gazes. Eret stood up and walked over to him, before gently wrapping their arms around his broad figure. Techno stiffened as if he was about to pull away, but ended up relaxing and hugging the other anyway.

“Well don’t leave me out of this!” Ranboo pouted, eliciting a chuckle from the others. Eret lifted an arm so Ranboo could wiggle into their group hug, his long and tufted tail snaking around them as far as it could reach. 

They all stayed in one another’s comforting embrace until Eret jolted suddenly, a sheepish look plastered across his face.

“The tea! I made tea!” He exclaimed, rushing to the counter. Ranboo laughed at his antics while Techno giggled a little, too tired to laugh fully. His eyes already felt heavy from the exhaustion of venting his pent up emotions without even really meaning to. 

Eret pulled the teabags out of each cup, pressing a spoon against each one to get the excess tea out before setting them on a paper towel. “How do you like your teas?” He asked, grabbing half-and-half from the mini-fridge and the small jar of sugar from the countertop. 

“I like mine with a little cream and extra sugar!” Ranboo declared before nudging Techno, who was not really paying attention, to respond as well.

“Opposite of Ranboo. Just a little sugar, extra cream. Milk. Whatever it is, I really don’t know and I’m too tired to care.” Eret chuckled at the Piglin hybrid’s response, making both of theirs according to request and then making their own; just a little bit of both. 

They picked up Techno and Ranboo’s mug in one hand and their own with the other, walking back carefully as to not spill tea all over the carpet. Ranboo sprung up to help them, grabbing the mugs in their left hand and giving Techno’s to him while keeping his own.

Thanks were mumbled all around the circle of hybrids as they settled back into their comfy chairs, breathing in the calming scent of lavender and finally feeling wound-down. The soft pitter-patter of rain began outside, and Ranboo groaned in annoyance once he realized it.

Eret took one glance at Ranboo’s displeased expression and another at Techno’s slumped and exhausted posture, and decided to extend an offer to them.

“How about you two stay the night at my castle? Techno, you look dead on your hooves, and Ranboo, I don’t want you getting hurt trying to get home in this rain. I have spare blankets and pillows— we can all just sleep in this room until we’re all stable enough to get back to the shitshow of this server tomorrow, okay?”

Ranboo smiled thankfully, and Techno’s ears flicked in acknowledgment. “That’d be really really nice! Thank you!” Ranboo’s tail swished happily as he took another sip of his tea. 

Eret set her tea to the side and stood to go collect the spare blankets and pillows that she had mentioned. She had to leave the room to rummage through a separate closet for them, and made a few trips bringing all of the soft material she could fit into her arms into the room. Three extra trips had to be made bringing a large flat cushion for each of them, which was relatively thin but still comfortable.

Ranboo finished his tea and stood, placing a gentle hand on Eret’s shoulder. “Please, let me help! You’ve done so much for us already and you’ve barely touched your tea. I can handle the rest, I promise!”

Eret hesitated, before he smiled appreciatively. “That’d help a lot, thank you, Ranboo.” As Ranboo dragged the rest of the items into the room, Eret sat back in their chair for what felt like the tenth time. He finally brought his mug of tea to his lips, relishing in the comforting taste of it. 

They must have dozed off a little, because the next thing they knew, they were being gently shaken by Ranboo. With a quick glance around, they noticed that Ranboo was holding their mug, and that Techno was already passed out on one of the cushions. 

“I got everything set up,” he stated right off the bat, “and Techno grabbed an armful of blankets and a pillow and just kinda. Flopped.” Ranboo chuckled. “I noticed that your mug was slipping and you were falling asleep, so I grabbed it and now we’re here!”

Eret blinked and yawned a little. He stretched and stood, eyeing the mattresses to determine which he would want. Meanwhile, Ranboo collected everyone’s mugs and set them on the counter to be dealt with later. The Wither hybrid ended up just grabbing whatever blankets were nearest to him and laying on the one closest to the door. 

Ranboo tossed her a pillow, to which she mumbled thanks and placed it behind her head. Ranboo himself undid the tie of his suit and laid down as well, gathering the remaining blankets and pillows to wrap himself in. Once they had all laid down, it felt like a wave of calm had washed over them. The rain had picked up a bit, the sound creating a soothing atmosphere in the dim room. 

Techno was already asleep, and had been for some time, but Eret turned on their side and breathed deeply. Ranboo turned his head to look at them, and smiled.

“Thank you again for letting us stay here,” he whispered. “I really didn’t want to leave in this weather. Or have to worry about getting interrogated by someone on the way home.” They both chuckled.

“Don’t even stress yourself about it. We can worry about getting you two home safely tomorrow. For now, I think you should get some rest.” Eret replied softly. Ranboo nodded and wiggled further under his blankets with a contented sigh.

Eret stared up at the lantern-lit ceiling and stopped his mind from wandering. Thinking was a daytime Eret activity. For now, he just reminisced on how much of a tiny, dysfunctional family the hybrids had become, and smiled as he finally drifted off to a peaceful sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading!! i really hope you enjoyed this unorthodox family fluff oneshot lmao, it took me like four days to finish this and idk how to feel about it
> 
> i might make this a series at some point, but i’ll have to think about it more :]
> 
> i hope you all have a wonderful day!!


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